Finish and Flourish
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Sarah Federman, PhD

How to Finish and Flourish!

Some snippets of writing wisdom to keep you chugging along

Stuck in your writing? Check these 3 sticking points

6/21/2017

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Getting Back Into Your Project

5/11/2017

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I left my project for two days to help clean out my childhood home in the wake of my father's death. I thought my writing project would be okay for just a few days unsupervised. My reason for leaving was justified. The project would be kind and forgiving when I returned, I imagined.

​Now, back in front of my computer, the project seems to have - not quite gone ferrel as Joan Didion warned-- but instead, it kind of sealed up. 

The project felt like a small house that, in my absence, had closed its windows and doors and I feel uncertain as to how to get back inside. 

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I think projects can do this...they can kind of close up in our absence. To get back in, sometimes you cannot just push the door open.

Today, it feels better to knock and wait patiently on the stoop to see if the project responds.  Not everyday is the day to charge in. I am now, for the moment, a guest to my own project. By the end of the day, we likely will have found our rhythm again. I will feel at home. But next time, I'll remember to leave some kind of key under the mat to help myself get back in after I take some time away. 


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Where is my cookie?

11/23/2016

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Today, we had class here, the Lower Barrakka Gardens in Valletta, Malta.  While sailboats with black sails & flags from various European countries competed against one another on the windy sea, we sat in a circle and discussed the challenge before the students... "the thesis."

We talked about research questions, literature reviews, ethics review boards, and timelines. And we also talked about the challenge of writing without immediate reward.

Thanos, my co-instructor, reminded students of something so important. He said, when you're in class you're used to getting a grade on a paper or a pat on the back for a good presentation. But when you're in thesis mode, "there's no one there to give you a cookie."

For long periods, you hear nothing but the sound of your own thoughts.


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One of the hardest parts of writing is that you don't get any immediate rewards. No "ding" from your iphone saying you have received a new message. You get no "likes" or "retweets". You just get radio silence and you gotta live with it.

It's just part of writing. The good part is, you start to train yourself to not need positive feedback every fifteen minutes. Ok, you may still want it, but it's a really good practice to try to give it up a little bit. In exchange, you have the opportunity to get swept up in some spectacular intellectual journey. You become so connected to your material and your writing, you start to develop a greater internal world.

This internal strength you travel with you throughout your life.

But how do you survive while you're getting stronger?

One of the students joked about he and another student working together every night and then giving each other a cookie.

He was actually on to something.

You may need to team up with a friend and cheer each other on. Unless you are like Yoda, able to hide yourself away and be fulfilled you might want to find a friend who can pat you on the back and hand you a cookie while you're in the throws of writing...


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4 Survival Tips for Writing About Human Rights Violations

11/22/2016

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10 ways NOT to Finish Your Dissertation This Year

11/18/2016

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4 Survival Tips for folks writing about violence or human suffering

10/27/2016

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Stop Telling Yourself to Write MoreĀ 

10/7/2016

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We often say things to ourselves like, "I need to write more" or "I need to spend less time on social media."

But does this actually help?

September 30th, I presented at the Capital Coaches Conferences to an audience of over 50 top coaches. We talked about how we talk about our stuck places affects whether we advance or not. Words matter.

Warren Berger, author of A More Beautiful Question and former NY Times correspondent, argues we are better off inviting ourselves to change with a question.

For example, instead of telling yourself "I need to write more."

Ask yourself, "How can I write more?"

This week, reframe your inner commands as questions and watch the results. Your brain is like Google, it will search for answers if you ask it a question.

So ask your brain and let it spend the day finding solutions.

Why not give it a try?

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3 Tips for Writing After a Summer Break

9/13/2016

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 I don't know about you, but transitioning from the dog days of summer to the rush of September has taken a bit of adjusting.

The final weeks of summer, for me, mean a week volunteering at a bereavement camp. In between the activities, the camp organizers give the staff plenty of time to lounge in bathing suits on the farmhouse lawn, listening to music after taking a long swim in the lake. Those moments which seem to extend for hours and demand nothing, sit in sharp contrast to schedules, Skype meetings, traffic and...yes...deadlines.

For many writers, this might be the time again when you need to create a writing schedule that fits into your work life. Here are a few tips
. Please add your tips to the comments section to help others along.

1. Start Slow

If you have not been writing in several weeks, do not expect that you will be able to sit for six hours and crank out a few thousand words. Think of writing like exercise. When you have stopped for awhile you need to start slowly,  because you may no longer have the stamina and you may burn out. Start with just short sessions. I also don't want to you get frustrated with yourselves or beat yourself up. This leads to tip 2.

2. Forgive yourself for what you did not accomplish this summer

Via Skype, I coached a woman in Tanzania on her thesis. I realized in just five minutes that the most stressful part of the thesis for her was believing that she should be further ahead than she was. No matter what she started doing she would tell herself, "I should have started this months ago."

I told her to let it go. Just drop those thoughts and say, "I'm at the perfect place at the perfect time." This releases the stress and allows you to get back to work. So, if you must, take five minutes and beat yourself up for summer failures and then drop it...for good. It does not matter and self criticism can really just be a way to stall.

3. Grab a Buddy

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I always advocate for writing buddies. Mine have been especially critical these past two weeks getting back to work. Writing can be a lonely business and having that friend next to you for breaks (strolls, coffee, lunch) really helps. A writing buddy helps me write for longer periods and check my email and Facebook less often. I don't need to seek human connection every 20 minutes, if I know my friend and I will take a walk in 45 minutes.

With summer closed,
my coaching practice is open again.
If you would like a free 15-minute consult please contact me at federman.sarah@gmail.com.

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The Day I Hated My Thesis

8/29/2016

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 Guest Blog by Sarah McLewin Kincaid, @SarahJoyKincaid


      Thesis writing had been quite pleasant up until this point. Sure, 5:30 a.m.

came fast but there was just nothing like those quiet morning hours of solitude and

intense concentration. I was in my last semester of graduate school, sprinting

through my thesis to get to graduation. The first half of the semester was just

focused on getting a draft together. It was full of exploration, discovery, and sweet

beginnings.


       But that’s not where I was anymore. With October behind me, I was entering

into the home stretch. Discoveries had to be defended. Beginnings had to link to

coherent endings. And, worst of all, I needed to make some sense of all the trails I

had blazed. Staring at my draft, cluttered with comments and red lines, I asked

myself, in horror, . . . “ What have I done?” It was as if I had created a beast that was

intent on sucking the life out of me. I stared at my conclusion chapter, completely

lost. What does this all mean? The words echoed in my tired mind.

Since I started my thesis, I had committed myself to enjoying the process.

(For more on why that’s essential read this). I refused to talk about my thesis as if it

were a punishment. After all, I had chosen it. It wasn’t something to hate. It was

something to own, to make the most of, and to relish.


        But the day came when I hated my thesis. I hated how poor I was, how tired I

was, how infrequently I saw my spouse, and how short my works outs were. I hated

all of the exploratory research that pointed to areas for future research . . . research I

didn’t have time to think about. It felt like I had unknowingly and masochistically

embarked on a jungle trek that I couldn’t end. “How can I land this plane?” I asked

myself. And, really, I just wanted to jump out of the plane. All that I could think is . . .

I’m done with this!


      Fortunately, that’s a familiar feeling for me. Running cross-country is good

training for thesis writing. In a 5k race, once you approach the beginning of the last

mile, you just want to walk off of the course and never run again. Mile 3 takes sheer

will power. You cannot listen to your legs or your breath or your shoulders

screaming to slump over. All you can think about is the finish.

       Before, I had enjoyed the process of writing so much. Now I wasn’t enjoying

it and I couldn’t convince myself to. I hated it so much. Hate was a new feeling. It

was overwhelming and so were the revisions I needed to make. “How was I going to

get through?” I asked myself, exasperated and so afraid of failing.

The more I hated it the less motivated I was to complete it. And that’s when I

started to panic . . . because graduating was not optional. So I learned to reckon with

my hatred. And that’s why I’m writing this post. Because if you don’t hate your

thesis or dissertation now, that day may come. So here are four tactics for reckoning

with your hatred and finishing your writing project.



1. Accept the Pain


When you’re running a race (or writing a thesis/dissertation), you are testing

your limits. That sounds like it’s thrilling but it’s really not. It’s miserable. It’s

painful. And it’s ugly. To get through it you must choose to accept the pain. Finishing

always hurts. Once you accept that, it does actually get better.



2. Keep a Finishing Mindset



One major hurdle to finishing was that as I made revisions I found more

problems with my draft than I had time to fix. For example, when I tried to respond

to a comment from my committee I would see three other problems that also

needed to be fixed. To help me focus only on my committee’s feedback, I wrote the

words “FINISH IT” on a post it note and kept it in front of my computer. This helped

me to not worry about odds and ends and focus only on my committee’s feedback. It

also helped me to remember to conserve my efforts. Which leads me to my next

point . . .



3. Make it a little better


At this point, I was so fatigued that it was easier than ever to get discouraged.

If I came across a problematic paragraph my ambition just evaporated. I kept myself

motivated by focusing on what was do-able. If something looked challenging then I’d

simply ask myself, “What will make this a little better?”



4. Quit Early and Fast



      Some days I just needed to stop. If you feel you’re not being productive quit

early and fast. If I really felt miserable, I’d often challenge myself to what I call the

15 minute productivity test. I challenged myself to work productively for another

15 minutes. Sometimes that 15 minutes would become a productive hour. And

sometimes that 15 minutes would go to waste. If I couldn’t pass the 15 minute

productivity test, I’d quite. Regardless of whatever I had planned to do that day, I’d

just take the day off from writing, go do laundry, go grocery shopping, exercise, call

a friend, whatever… just do something, anything completely different than writing.

This kept me from wasting hours of nonproductive time in the library. When I took

time off, I found that I came back the next day (or later that evening) refreshed and

ready to work.

      I am glad that I made a mental commitment early on in my thesis to enjoy the

process. But because of that I was not mentally prepared for how challenging the

end of the semester would be. I hope that you take delight in your writing project.

But if the day comes that you hate it just remember: accept the pain, keep a finishing

mind-set, make it a little bit better, and quite early and fast!

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Terrified to Write? ... Try Hypnotism

7/4/2016

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    Sarah Federman, PhD
    scholar, consultant, writing adviser, freelance writer.

    Clients include:  University of Pennsylvania, the American University of Paris, the publisher Bedford St. Martins, and a myriad of students.

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